Dear Wife, I\u2019m writing you this letter to tell you that I\u2019m leaving you for good. I\u2019ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.Last week, you came home & didn\u2019t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don\u2019t tell me you love me anymore; you don\u2019t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.Either you\u2019re cheating on me or you don\u2019t love me anymore; whatever the case, It\u2019s over and I am leaving.Your EX-Husband P.S. don\u2019t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband, Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It\u2019s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you\u2019ve been.I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn\u2019t seem to work.I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was \u2018You look just like a girl!\u2019 And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can\u2019t say something nice, I decided not to comment.And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won\u2019t get a dime from me. So take care.Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don\u2019t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that\u2019s not a problem!Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Wife, I\u2019m writing you this letter to tell you that I\u2019m leaving you for good. I\u2019ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage &… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1490,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"views":16920,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1489"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1489\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1491,"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1489\/revisions\/1491"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flyz.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}